The Winter Solstice Approaches

I’ve often had a feeling that I might be living under a rock. Somehow, despite owning a phone/social media-ing/being required to use the internet for my job, I’ve never seen the meme, learned the dance, or been able to tell you who is an old or not an old based on where they part their hair. Does this make me cheugy ? What is cheugy?

So the good ice, the pellet ice, the GE Profile Opal nugget ice? That’s a niche too small and too cool for my unhip existence. But like the rest of the internet, I did (if a few days late) read along as The New Yorker ’s Helen Rosner compared the crispy layers of said ice to “well-laminated pastry.” After years of being out of the ASMR loop , the idea of ice that “makes a soothing, gently percussive shuffling sound” sent a pleasant shudder down my spine.

GE Profile Opal Nugget Ice Maker

While normal ice is unforgivingly solid, a chipped tooth waiting to happen, the good ice is cush. Doused in a fountain soda or a cool pour of lemonade, it becomes a chompable little snack in your drink, a sensory experience extending beyond the brute force of cold. These air-pocketed little nuggets are the main attraction at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, Chick-Fil-A, Sonic and elite mall food courts. Also hospitals, where pellet ice is prized for its low choking risk and chewability. While you can, apparently, roll up to a Chick-Fil-A and purchase a 5-pound bag of chewable ice, there is also a way to have the good ice at home whenever you want—the GE Opal Nugget Ice Maker .

I turned to TikTok, a social media platform I had heard about, to learn more. For hours I lapped up videos of expansive suburban kitchens, a glossy GE Profile Opal Nugget Ice Maker churning away on each counter. The Opal, see, is not only Rosner’s choice, but also the choice of the rest of the internet. Affectionately called ‘she’ across TikTok, like a seafaring vessel laden with precious cargo, the Opal churns out a whopping one pound of fresh ice per hour. She doesn’t need to be hooked up to a faucet—just fill up the water reservoir and wait as she quietly whirs away, then use the cute included ice scoop to fill a Big Gulp sized cup and ahhhhhhh. If your tap water isn’t filtered, she does that too, of course; if you’d like to schedule your next batch of ice via the mobile app, go ahead. This is primo ice making; expect all the features. The whole contraption, while obviously bigger than the plastic tray that gives you stale, freezer-burned ice bricks, is still smaller than a microwave—a reasonable countertop footprint even if your kitchen is, like mine, definitely not suburban sized.

At $549, the GE Opal Nugget Ice Maker is not a flip purchase. But it’s $100 off during Amazon Prime Day 2021 , and after hours on TikTok, I’ve yet to find someone who had buyer’s remorse. Each effusive video is tinged with the slightly embarrassed pleasure at having sprung for such a non-essential appliance. Rosner writes, “The GE Opal was an absurd purchase, unnecessary and indefensible. But it brings me the good ice, which brings me an absurd amount of delight.” I use my Vitamix and my espresso machine every morning—and for the price of those two I could have purchased three GE ice machines—but my love for them cannot hold a candle to the passionate, obsessive ardor that Ice People have for their Opals. If you’re going to splurge for one big ticket item this Amazon Prime Day, why get something practical like a vacuum when you could buy yourself an unending supply of frivolous joy?

With no childhood memories of Sonic ice myself, I’m still mulling it over. But just in case, I asked my dentist. “I can’t ever endorse ice crunching,” he told me. “But that soft, food court ice? That’s not as bad. Actually, I’ll admit it... it’s kind of good.”

Source : food